A difficult one and I've had similar problems as well. Always remember though going private is no guarantee that your treatment and outcome will be better. I was once plagued by hernias and have had 7 hernias repaired to date. I had the first two repaired by the NHS in the early 90s. One failed so I decided to pay cash to get it done quickly. I had the op, paid over the lolly and then noticed that about three weeks later the 'groin bulge' appeared again. I trotted off to see the private surgeon, he told me (THE LIAR!) that it was fine, it was "just a weak muscle" which would mend itself over the next few weeks. Stupidly I accepted his diagnosis and waited but it stayed the same. I went back, the surgeon was not there, his underling suggested I might like to try a 'sports truss' for a week or two. He colluded in the lie!
I went down into the hospital basement to see the 'Truss Man' who's first comment was, "Another hernia mate", no said I, just a weak muscle, "Never!" said he, "I've been measuring people for trusses for donkeys years, you have a hernia mate!"
I went back up to the surgeons office, annoyed obviously and booked an appointment to see the surgeon again. About two weeks later the receptionist phoned to tell me that the surgeon had left to work in the USA. He took my money with him!
in the end I had it done on the NHS again. Its only recently that I feel now that my hernia's will not appear again. My last one was in 2015 when I was walking on the GR10 across the Pyrenees. That's repaired now, I have loads of plastic netting across the affected area, even a tank wouldn't now penetrate my groin defences!
I hope you have good luck with what ever you decide to do.