Walking Forum

Main Boards => General Walking Discussion => Topic started by: gunwharfman on 19:51:44, 27/06/19

Title: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: gunwharfman on 19:51:44, 27/06/19
When hiking (and at home too) I have to admit I do get irritated when I start to talk someone and they are wearing dark sunglasses, or those mirror type dark glasses and they don't take them off as we speak. I personally like to see a whole face myself, eyes included. I've never had the confidence to tell them how I feel but sometimes I am sorely tempted!
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: sunnydale on 20:25:38, 27/06/19
Well if I took my sunglasses off to talk to you, I wouldn't be able to see very well as they're prescription ones!
I suspect there are a lot of folk in the same position.
It's hardly practical for someone to stand there changing into ordinary prescription glasses just to make you happy!


To be honest, I don't necessarily think it would enter the head of a sunglasses wearer to take them off when speaking to someone, unless that someone (who they were speaking to) was rather important in some way and the sunglasses wearer felt that it was more appropriate to make eye contact.


And another thing.....not everyone feels comfortable with eye contact at close range.  It may simply be a confidence thing and nothing at all to do with bad manners :)



Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: Pitboot on 20:51:19, 27/06/19
Same here, prescription sunglasses. I don't mind if anyone talks to me wearing their sunglasses. A lot of people never respond to even a "hello" when I'm out and about but the wife and I just laugh it off.


There's nowt so strange as folk GWM.
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: jontea on 21:39:03, 27/06/19
Only at night Reg  8) ;)
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: BuzyG on 21:45:12, 27/06/19
I nearly always take my sunglasses off when talking to a stranger.  Agree it's the polite thing to do, if you can.  No issues with folk who don't though.
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: archaeoroutes on 21:46:09, 27/06/19
I am always aware of the possible offense I'm causing, but I too would be spending ages changing in to my other pair of glasses to continue the conversation while still being able to see if I did take them off.

I also know a couple of people who can't afford the UV exposure taking their shades off would mean.
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: happyhiker on 21:46:45, 27/06/19
If it's only a hello,nice day, where are you from/going, etc, which is about as much as you usually get on a walk, who cares. If it's an in depth discussion about marrying your daughter, the intricacies of Brexit, etc, then I might hope someone would remove their sunglasses but if they don't, I like to think Ihave enough of a life not to get too worried about it.
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: beefy on 23:10:35, 27/06/19
When hiking (and at home too) I have to admit I do get irritated when I start to talk someone and they are wearing dark sunglasses, or those mirror type dark glasses and they don't take them off as we speak. I personally like to see a whole face myself, eyes included. I've never had the confidence to tell them how I feel but sometimes I am sorely tempted!
Would you get irritated if someone stayed sat in a wheelchair when you talked to them,
Some People wear sunglasses for eye protection, against hay fever for instance, I wear my eye protection even when it's raining, I have several eye conditions,,
Not all disabilities are as obvious as someone sat in a wheelchair  O0


Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: jontea on 05:46:12, 28/06/19

Not all disabilities are as obvious as someone sat in a wheelchair  O0


Same as the abuse people with Inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) get after exiting a disabled toilet by the public. >:(




Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: beefy on 07:01:12, 28/06/19

Same as the abuse people with Inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) get after exiting a disabled toilet by the public. >:(
Disabled toilet rage :o
I’ve witnessed this before jontea, even some disabled people need educating about other disabilities that are not obvious and can’t be seen

Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: Jac on 07:35:28, 28/06/19
'Ordinary' sunglasses are ok but I really dislike the mirrored ones. It's like being interrogated when the light shines back into my eyes. If my own image is reflected back then it's worse, like talking to myself in the mirror (which I normally only do when alone).
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: April on 07:56:05, 28/06/19
I won't be taking my sunglasses off in the next few days. Mine are used as pollen barriers. Sorry GWM you will have to think I am bad mannered  :)


The pollen is very high even though it has been put on the banned list twice  ;)
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: vghikers on 08:28:31, 28/06/19
Quote
...I have to admit I do get irritated when I start to talk someone and they are wearing dark sunglasses, or those mirror type dark glasses and they don't take them off as we speak.

Extraordinary!  8). It's the first time I've heard of that idea, is it a common sentiment?. Admittedly I'd be the last to know if it was. I agree the mirrored ones give an odd impression, I'm not sure how they work either.

Quote
And another thing.....not everyone feels comfortable with eye contact at close range.  It may simply be a confidence thing and nothing at all to do with bad manners :)

Or, if you are somewhat aspy like me, can barely make eye contact at all under almost any circumstances, a (fairly) well known characteristic.
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: sunnydale on 08:57:19, 28/06/19

I also know a couple of people who can't afford the UV exposure taking their shades off would mean.


That goes for me too.  I have some cholesterol deposits in my left eye caused by over exposure to UV.  My sunglasses now have high spec lenses in them to prevent further damage.
I wear them even when it's bright but not particularly sunny, as my eyes are quite sensitive to light.
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: barewirewalker on 09:20:18, 28/06/19
I don't wear sunglasses, I expect "Sir" Philip Green does and it wouldn't take them off if he was speaking to likes of I.

Extraordinary!  8) . It's the first time I've heard of that idea, is it a common sentiment?.
I suppose I recognize the opposite.

One of those fads that came over with the yanks during the war, like being judged by the size of your wad and chewing gum. Boys at school, who wore them were marked down as 'Pseudo's', probably the sons of parents, who gave them too much pocket money and were not of those, who had to supplement they financial conduct by more imaginative ways.

Of course it is a lifestyle accoutrement that has gone through a reversal, smoking was said to clear the tubes, of those 1950's attitudes I did not take to smoking, but every pair of sunglasses my wife has bought me over the years seem to get lost.
So I don't know if I wore them if I would still see that hare flatten it's ears in it's form at 200 yds.
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: pleb on 10:23:25, 28/06/19

Same as the abuse people with Inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) get after exiting a disabled toilet by the public. >:(
Thats incredible, I wouldnt dare abuse a stranger without VERY good reason.
Was also going to mention aspergers and those who struggle with eye contact.
Must admit first time I walked with beefy just thought he was a poser, but thats not the same as saying so, is it?
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: Jac on 10:55:18, 28/06/19
'Ordinary' sunglasses are ok but I really dislike the mirrored ones. It's like being interrogated when the light shines back into my eyes. If my own image is reflected back then it's worse, like talking to myself in the mirror (which I normally only do when alone).

Are mirrored ones in any way better/necessary for the problems mentioned?

Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: barewirewalker on 11:39:27, 28/06/19
'Ordinary' sunglasses are ok but I really dislike the mirrored ones. It's like being interrogated when the light shines back into my eyes. If my own image is reflected back then it's worse, like talking to myself in the mirror (which I normally only do when alone).

People today are less aware that they are invading another persons space. This is probably just another symptom of that. GWM asked if it was bad manners, when one person is unaware of how they are imposing on others and do not have the ability to read the signs that they are making others uncomfortable that is bad manners. IMO.
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: April on 12:46:58, 28/06/19
I inadvertently bought mirrored sunglasses. They look the same as normal sunglasses. I got a shock when beefy mentioned they were mirrored ones! I tend to break sunglasses after a few months so they will be replaced with normal ones.
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: beefy on 13:00:33, 28/06/19
[quiet author=barewirewalker link=topic=38643.msg550247#msg550247 date=1561718367]
People today are less aware that they are invading another persons space. This is probably just another symptom of that. GWM asked if it was bad manners, when one person is unaware of how they are imposing on others and do not have the ability to read the signs that they are making others uncomfortable that is bad manners. IMO.

What if that person is blind, or has serious mental health problems, would you think that they have bad manners?

Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: barewirewalker on 13:12:15, 28/06/19
What if that person is blind, or has serious mental health problems, would you think that they have bad manners?
People today are less aware that they are invading another persons space. This is probably just another symptom of that. GWM asked if it was bad manners, when one person is unaware of how they are imposing on others and do not have the ability to read the signs that they are making others uncomfortable that is bad manners. IMO.

So the person, who might be offended, then should recognize that.
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: Pitboot on 13:14:28, 28/06/19
During my entire time in the forces sunglasses were forbidden unless you had a medical officers certificate, I never knew anyone who got one issued. The reason cited by many an RSM:
"They hide the character of the wearer."



That's the military mind for you  ::)
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: forgotmyoldpassword on 13:40:40, 28/06/19
Honestly, as someone who wears shades a lot when I hike - I do admit those wrap around mirrored ones do make you look like a bit of a dick.  At least being able to see your eyes 'through' the shades lets you have a much better conversation than trying to look at this miniature reflection of yourself.


Only exception to this would be ski goggles, which are obviously designed to make you look cool for your GoPro shots.




Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: Innominate Man on 14:04:26, 28/06/19
During my entire time in the forces sunglasses were forbidden


That shows you weren't a "Top Gun" then  ;D
Clearly this is a very emotive subject and shows that we all literally walk on eggshells for fear of offending (or being offended by) somebody, either by our reaction to them or by their appearance or actions towards us ..... a moral maze.
I had such an encounter the other day when out walking and came across a neighbour. We stopped & chatted for a while and then parted company.
He wore his sunglasses throughout the conversation. We were quite close together while chatting (which was for my benefit). I wasn't offended that he kept his glasses on but, because we were so close, I didn't know what to look at as I seemed to be faced with a wall of black plastic, rather than eyes & other features.
It was sort of disconcerting as I didn't know if he was looking at me or nodding off  ;D
Having recently undergone neurosurgery to remove a tumour I suspected the sunglasses were possibly for medical reasons rather than a fashion statement.
I was just glad, but not as much as he was, that he was out walking and able to talk.


sensitive to light.


Apologies, not wishing to be flippant. That reminds me of a song  8) 
But not by Bad Manners !



Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: beefy on 14:09:25, 28/06/19

Oh... :)
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: ninthace on 15:05:32, 28/06/19
During my entire time in the forces sunglasses were forbidden unless you had a medical officers certificate, I never knew anyone who got one issued. The reason cited by many an RSM:
"They hide the character of the wearer."



That's the military mind for you  ::)


I wore photochromic lenses for a chunk of my military career with no problem even when recruit training.  If I wanted the WO to know what I thought I would tell him.  I also had chit once when I had a dose of UV iritis and was having drops to keep one eye fully dilated which made aviating fun as I lost depth perception so had to fly with a safety pilot to handle the tricky negotiation of the air/ground interface.  I could see the runway, just no idea quite how far away it was.


To return to the thread - I wear photochromic lenses now and no, I don't take them off when I talk to people because if I do they will be out of focus and the bright light would probably make we sneeze all over them.
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: Florence Lamb on 17:00:28, 28/06/19
I'm with you Beefy, April..............My goodness, irritated over sunglasses -  what can I say!
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: richardh1905 on 17:36:10, 28/06/19
It has never occurred to me to be offended by people talking to me whilst wearing sunglasses. Live and let live.
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: Jac on 17:36:51, 28/06/19
I really do find it difficult talk comfortably to someone wearing mirrored sunglasses - not being able to see their eyes reduces my ability to communicate fully with them. There is, to me, a part of the communication signal missing; similar to trying to connect with someone who struggles making eye contact.
I'm not offended just a bit less able.The problem is obviously me not picking up on all the other signals properly.
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: dank86 on 22:11:51, 28/06/19
If you're worried about the light being reflected back at you from mirrored glasses think about why the person hasn't taken them off.. if the reflection is blinding you they are going to blind themselves by removing them.

I wear my sunglasses anytime it's sunny, mostly for eye health. I have no issue if people don't remove them when talking, there are other ways you can tell a person is interested and paying attention
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: Jac on 00:38:14, 29/06/19
If you're worried about the light being reflected back at you from mirrored glasses think about why the person hasn't taken them off.. if the reflection is blinding you they are going to blind themselves by removing them.

I wear my sunglasses anytime it's sunny, mostly for eye health. I have no issue if people don't remove them when talking, there are other ways you can tell a person is interested and paying attention



I didn't say it blinded me, just that I found it uncomfortable, by which I meant disquieting not physically uncomfortable, not to be able see someone's eyes when talking to them.
From the answers to my earlier question it would seem that the mirroring is not necessary for the glasses to be effective in guarding the eyes from the harmful rays of sunlight. I think they are an affectation.
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: jimbob on 06:23:35, 29/06/19
Mirrored sunglasses are not necessarily  an affectation. They reduce the amount of light and especially uv light hitting the eyes which can alleviate/avoid certain conditions and can be prescribed by opticians.
Wearing glasses of any sort is never bad manners in my book.Live and let live. Times change, fashions change, definition of manners change. I.e. how many men lift their hats to ladies nowadays.
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: Yorkshiremarv on 08:23:27, 29/06/19
Mine are react to light prescription glasses, in bright conditions they turn almost like welding goggles darkness but i need that due to the brightness affecting my eyes. also if i took my glasses off to say hi and chat with someone i wouldn't be able to see their faces nevermind their facial expressions, unless we were saying hello the eskimo way! For some people its not been ignorant its just the way it is. Whilst out last weekend up grindsbrook clough everyone was polite and saying hello but once up on kinder with the throngs most people even avoided looking, nevermind saying hi. To me it seemed those who wore the right walking gear along with a good rucksack took the time to smile and say hi and have a quick chat but those in adidas trainers and super cool outfits were just plain ignorant!
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: ninthace on 08:25:27, 29/06/19
I.e. how many men lift their hats to ladies nowadays.
I often doff my Tilley when greeting lady walkers.
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: Jac on 09:30:27, 29/06/19
I often doff my Tilley when greeting lady walkers.

Are you sure that's legal :o
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: Bigfoot_Mike on 10:05:14, 29/06/19
I often doff my Tilley when greeting lady walkers.
Isn’t that sexist behaviour nowadays?  ;D
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: pleb on 10:35:09, 29/06/19
I often doff my Tilley when greeting lady walkers.
Is that a euphamism?  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: sunnydale on 11:15:24, 29/06/19
I often doff my Tilley when greeting lady walkers.


I've heard it called some things in my time...but never that! :o :D
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: ninthace on 11:51:37, 29/06/19
Some of us are still gentlemen!  :)
I presume the gents in here also stand up when a lady enters the room or joins the group?
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: ninthace on 11:54:12, 29/06/19
Isn’t that sexist behaviour nowadays?  ;D
No it is sexual discrimination, it means I can still tell the difference  :)
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: gunwharfman on 13:38:53, 29/06/19
I went to the pub last night. Surprised? Anyway, I met and chatted to some Portsmouth University students and managed to ask them what they thought of dark and/or mirrored sunglasses. I was surprised to find that out of the 5, three men and two women, it was the two women that claimed they didn't like it, one man said he'd never given it a thought and two were just half and half about it. The best moment came when one of the women, (a psychology student) said, with a twinkle in her eye and a grin, (perfect teeth!)that dark glasses could be interpreted as the equivalent of a western Burka! That bought about one of those, "I must put my thinking cap on' moments for us all. We then all had another drink! One of the men was interesting in that he was a white Zimbabwean, his parent farmers decided to stay, he was born 21 years ago and it all worked out for them.
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: barewirewalker on 15:33:52, 29/06/19
Some of us are still gentlemen!  :)
I presume the gents in here also stand up when a lady enters the room or joins the group?
Or even might walk on the outside of the pavement to let a lady pass on the inside!  :)


I'm glad that the OP's psychology student mentioned that, which I thought best not to put on a post :D
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: Jac on 16:46:22, 29/06/19
Some of us are still gentlemen!  :)
I presume the gents in here also stand up when a lady enters the room or joins the group?



and the ladies drop him a demure curtsey (my****)



Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: ninthace on 18:49:03, 29/06/19

and the ladies drop him a demure curtsey (my****)
Actually most times it is like wetting yourself in dark suit.
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: Mel on 11:30:37, 30/06/19
We all wore sunglasses on our walk yesterday and nobody batted an eyelid....


..... at least I don't think they did - couldn't see their eyes  :D


Saw a lot of Posing Pillocks in their mirrored glasses though - glasses perched on the top of their heads rather than protecting their eyes.  Nuff said..
Title: Re: Is it just bad manners?
Post by: Bigfoot_Mike on 11:39:08, 30/06/19
I nearly always wear sunglasses when outdoors or driving during daylight hours. There have been a lot of eye problems on my father’s side of the family and I try to minimise UV exposure as far as possible. I also suffer from migraines and can be sensitive to bright light. I don’t think it would cross my mind to take off my sunglasses or consider it rude if someone else didn’t.