The first time I ever saw one, I was in a customer's house repairing a tumble dryer.
The office phoned me, and in the middle of the call I looked out of the window and exclaimed excitedly, "Ooh there's a great spotted woodpecker in a tree outside, I've never seen one before!"
The quizzical response from the girl on the other end of the phone was, "Where are you?"
"In the customer's bedroom," I replied, which was greeted with roars of laughter. "No, seriously, that's where her tumble dryer is, honestly."
But it was too late, my already-tarnished reputation went down another notch.