Author Topic: TR: Munro Bagging in Holderness  (Read 1666 times)

Mel

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TR: Munro Bagging in Holderness
« on: 22:52:13, 02/06/20 »
I decided to drag myself out for one of my favourite local walks this afternoon (this working from home malarkey is great – thanks Coronavirus).
 
It’s got a bit of all sorts in it, big views, fields, history, water, a hill, a quirky curiosity, saltend’s cooling towers..
 
Originally I was going to park near the shipyard as it’s a little way out of the village but the car park was rammed full.  I dread to think how some of the cars at the back would get out if their occupants got back before the cars in front, but hey, not my problem!  Instead, I reluctantly parked at the village hall, which also knocked half a mile off my walk but I more than made up for that on my wanderings in the end.
 
I got set off up the road, changing my mind about walking through the play-park after seeing a load of yoofs in there skylarking about, not in a bad way, I have to say.  Obviously they were all related as there was zero social distancing going on!
 
Anyway, there’s no point in getting stressed about other people’s actions as it achieves nothing and I’ve had my hour of Coronavirus for the day so I won’t sully the trip report any further.
 
I topped out on my first Munro, which I’m going to call Long, Slow Drag Up A Road – a worthy summit of 15 metres.  Shortly before I reached the top I spotted Quirky Curiosity:
 
 
 
A project for Richard?.
 
The views from the summit were stupendous:
 
 
 
…as you can imagine, I felt relieved to still be able to see Saltend’s Cooling Towers  ::)
 
The local Church was kindly saying it was okay to park on the verge, so long as you don’t bend:
 
 
 
I imagine that’s quite difficult, and probably the reason there were no cars parked there  :D
 
I quite like the stark contrast of this dead tree against the blue sky:
 
 
 
I turned off Long Slow Drag Up A Road and headed for my next Munro – Fluffy Flanked Track.  I think this one tops out at 13 metres. 
 
 
 
Arty-farty pic:
 
 
 
Over the brow of Fluffy Flanked Track I took a left turn to take in Gravity-Defying Ridge.  The CMD arête isn’t a patch on this:
 
 
 
But again, if you dare to look up from the narrow path, the views are amazing.  This vastness is called Miles Of Nowt.
 
Over to the right, across Miles Of Nowt there are two lighthouses:
 
 
 
Both still work and I once told my friend’s son (when asked how they work) that a man goes to the top of them and runs round and round with a torch.  I wonder if he still believes that…
 
After dropping down the side of Gravity-Defying Ridge briefly, all too soon, my next summit loomed.  New Man Made Track.  The steepness of this gradient is a calf-killer:
 
 
 
I have to confess, I was puffing a bit by the time I got to the top.  With a lofty height of 5 metres I did wonder how folks manage that without oxygen.
 
I toyed with the idea of heading as far as Yapping Dog Valley but decided it was a walk too far at this time of day so retraced my steps along Gravity-Defying Ridge and turned off before Fluffy Flanked Track.
 
This route was lovely and peaceful and the scenery changed again:
 
 
 
Another arty-farty pic, I know.  I’m sorry  :-[
 
As I was saying, the scenery changed again as I started my ascent of Light Your BBQ In The Bird Hide Hill, another lofty summit of 15 metres:
 
 
 
A lovely walk through scrubby saltmarsh with hundreds of different varieties of grasses, reeds and rushes  :)
 
A new info board near the summit of Light Your BBQ (etc.) Hill:
 
 
 
I never saw any of these birds (well I did because I was looking at pictures of them but…).  I want the old board back, I saw loads of the birds on that (yeah, I know, I know).
 
Eventually I reached The River and took a moment to admire the view at Pillbox Panorama.  The view consists of the P&O Ferry, the Humber Bridge, a distant Yorkshire Wolds, a distant Lincolnshire Wolds and, yeh… Scunthorpe.  Nuff said.
 
 
 
I turned onto Tourist Ridge towards the lighthouses:
 
 
 
Listed buildings I believe.
 
Continuing on, I reached Go No Further:
 
 
 
This never used to be here and seems to serve no purpose whatsoever.  Looking at the ground tracks, it seems other people feel the same way so I followed suit and abseiled down the side of Tourist Ridge onto Miles Of Nowt to shimmy round Go No Further and head up the other side.
 
Go No Further should be here instead:
 
 
 
Although I wish there was some sort of bridge spanning this breach in the “sea” defences as it would make a smashing Horseshoe Walk around Paull Holme Strays.
 
Out of the corner of my eye I spotted:
 
 
 
Three Tentacled Swamp Thing.
 
This shy and elusive beast only surfaces at low tide to gobble up naughty children. Yes, guess who I said that to.  I guess there must have been naughty children around today too.
 
I retraced my steps along Tourist Ridge and made my way towards Civilisation.  I spotted People in the distance, urgghghgh.  And quickly turned off towards Giant Bonsai Coppice:
 
 
 
Now here’s a thing.  I’ve walked through Giant Bonsai Coppice many times and never spotted this:
 
 
 
Portal Into The Underworld.  I suspect it links up with Not So Secret Underground Tunnel further round and, one day, I’ll bring my headtorch and explore.  But not today.
 
I head around the back of Fort Paull Battery (a real place name this time, not one dredged from the depths of my vivid imagination) and into Rope Swing Forest:
 
 
 
Being a woman, I used my fantastic sense of direction to guide me through the maze of tracks and trails that criss-cross this wonderful dingly-dell and popped out near The Car Park which, having passed the entrance to it earlier when ascending Long Slow Drag Up A Road, is closed.  Obviously I only imagined the cars I saw parked in there.
 
There were huge amounts of people sat picnicking so I never took any pics as I crossed The Car Park and The Playing Field.
 
Once I turned onto Little Lane I took this pic of Mallow(?):
 
 
 
There was loads of it in the verge and it looked lovely basking in the sunshine  :)
 
From here it was a short meander past yet another lighthouse and back to my car.
 
Even though I’ve done this walk literally hundreds of times, it never ceases to lift my spirits or clear my head.  It’s a smashing little walk.
 
And, The Wanderlust has returned  O0
 
Thanks for reading  :)
 

WhitstableDave

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Re: TR: Munro Bagging in Holderness
« Reply #1 on: 23:15:30, 02/06/20 »
Great read Mel. I had to google Holderness so I've learned something!

I enjoyed all of the descriptions, especially the Swamp Thing. I did wonder though... how did you know the elevations? Did you find them on the map, use GPS, or guess them?

(p.s. I believe that is mallow; we have lots around my way.)
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Islandplodder

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Re: TR: Munro Bagging in Holderness
« Reply #2 on: 07:39:50, 03/06/20 »
Great TR. Beats the other Munroes any day.

Ridge

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Re: TR: Munro Bagging in Holderness
« Reply #3 on: 07:50:09, 03/06/20 »
Great report, bonkers but great.
Did you not have a pen with you to alter the sign outside the church to 'Park on the verger, please'.

pdstsp

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Re: TR: Munro Bagging in Holderness
« Reply #4 on: 07:55:43, 03/06/20 »
Great stuff Mel, made me chuckle. Love the idea of a bloke with a torch on the lighthouses, though being Holderness, it might be true.

April

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Re: TR: Munro Bagging in Holderness
« Reply #5 on: 07:55:52, 03/06/20 »
Brilliantly funny TR Mel  O0  ;D

I have to say it is easier to pronounce your Munro names  :)

Your imaginative and amusingly descriptive writing are good qualities to have if you write children's books. Have you ever thought about it?  :)
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richardh1905

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Re: TR: Munro Bagging in Holderness
« Reply #6 on: 08:06:23, 03/06/20 »
Great witty report and good photos, Mel - I particularly like the pine tree and the thingy creeping out of the water  :o
Like the mallow too - we were given some mallow seedlings yesterday.

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A project for Richard

Not me - I'm not responsible for 'Stumpy'. :)
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rural roamer

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Re: TR: Munro Bagging in Holderness
« Reply #7 on: 09:21:06, 03/06/20 »
Great report and pics Mel. Gosh you must be knackered after all those Munros, I was losing count of them all ;D

pleb

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Re: TR: Munro Bagging in Holderness
« Reply #8 on: 09:47:40, 03/06/20 »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D  is all I can say.
About time you got a walk in.  :P
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Jac

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Re: TR: Munro Bagging in Holderness
« Reply #9 on: 11:26:17, 03/06/20 »
 O0  :)
 
Walking round the lighthouse with a torch ;D


« Last Edit: 11:34:35, 03/06/20 by Jac »
So many paths yet to walk, so little time left

Dovegirl

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Re: TR: Munro Bagging in Holderness
« Reply #10 on: 11:36:42, 03/06/20 »
Very enjoyable and entertaining  TR,  Mel   :)    Like the arty-farty pics    :)

Mel

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Re: TR: Munro Bagging in Holderness
« Reply #11 on: 18:27:07, 03/06/20 »
Great read Mel. I had to google Holderness so I've learned something!

I enjoyed all of the descriptions, especially the Swamp Thing. I did wonder though... how did you know the elevations? Did you find them on the map, use GPS, or guess them?

(p.s. I believe that is mallow; we have lots around my way.)


Cheers WD  :)   I got the elevations from spot heights on the map plus a bit of best-guesstimation. 


Holderness is basically a predominantly flat flood plain, particularly the bit where I live.


Great TR. Beats the other Munroes any day.


Cheers Islandplodder.  The midges are less ferocious on the Holderness Munros too  :D


Great report, bonkers but great.
Did you not have a pen with you to alter the sign outside the church to 'Park on the verger, please'.


Great idea  :D  but sadly no pen (no jacket or map either).


Great stuff Mel, made me chuckle. Love the idea of a bloke with a torch on the lighthouses, though being Holderness, it might be true.


Cheers...  :knuppel2:    ;D


Brilliantly funny TR Mel  O0 ;D

I have to say it is easier to pronounce your Munro names  :)

Your imaginative and amusingly descriptive writing are good qualities to have if you write children's books. Have you ever thought about it?  :)


Cheers April and no, never thought about it, though I do like writing and have written a few (unpublished) short stories for people to discover after I'm dead.  Children are fine so long as they belong to other people and are nowhere near me  :D


Great witty report and good photos, Mel - I particularly like the pine tree and the thingy creeping out of the water  :o
Like the mallow too - we were given some mallow seedlings yesterday.

Not me - I'm not responsible for 'Stumpy'. :)


Cheers Richard.  I think a "Stumpy" should be your next project  O0


Great report and pics Mel. Gosh you must be knackered after all those Munros, I was losing count of them all ;D


I was utterly shattered RR.  Definitely earned the cuppa and cake afterwards  :D


;D ;D ;D ;D ;D  is all I can say.
About time you got a walk in.  :P


Cheers.  For once, I agree with you  :o


O0 :)
 
Walking round the lighthouse with a torch ;D


It's all true Jac, all true  ;)


Very enjoyable and entertaining  TR,  Mel   :)    Like the arty-farty pics    :)


Cheers Dovegirl.  I enjoy writing them  :)




snaderson

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Re: TR: Munro Bagging in Holderness
« Reply #12 on: 08:34:31, 04/06/20 »
Great report. I like the arty-farty pics too, and the barley/fluff by Fluffy Flanked Track. My family is from Hull so I'm vaguely familiar with the area. My dad's in Driffield now, so I've walked a bit there, but never in Holderness. My mum used to cycle out to places like Withernsea as a lass.

vghikers

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Re: TR: Munro Bagging in Holderness
« Reply #13 on: 09:23:00, 04/06/20 »
A  great entertaining report and pics, a lovely varied walk.  O0

Quote
I never saw any of these birds...
I'm convinced those species boards are drawn up by dedicated twitchers who spend endless hours watching, just to tease mere walkers. Every one is a list of the birds you might see but almost certainly won't.
Same thing applies to nature reserve boards, the very places where you're guaranteed not to see any uncommon wildlife at all.

MarkT

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Re: TR: Munro Bagging in Holderness
« Reply #14 on: 10:02:36, 04/06/20 »
Very good Mel.


A great alternative TR. It's good to see our imaginations and sense of humour are not being affected by all this. Currently working on my alternative/imaginative TR  :)

 

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