I think the problem is that someone thought it was a good idea to legislate for what should be common sense. If you are a racist or bigot or homophobe then you can be sure you won't "Say" the wrong thing, but that doesn't make you less of a racist etc.
I am a social creature, when I want to be, but I'm also happy, more often than not, with my own company. I do tend to speak my mind, especially if asked, but I'm careful to not offend where I'm aware that I might.
Part of the problem is that people feel they shouldn't ask people that are "Different" what they consider to be personal questions. How do you get to understand and accept differences if you don't at least have an explanation from the people concerned.
Also, it is not compulsory to actually like a person that is different, ethnically, sexually or religiously or any other 'lly you want to bring up. I have worked with Asian people that I've liked, and I've met some that I disliked because they were arrogant or themselves racist, and the same is true of Black people that I've known and the Gay community.
People are people, you like some, you don't like others. Some become good friends (I've even got a Scottish one) and some just become friends that you walk with or see infrequently. Whatever someone's background, if they are arrogant, selfish, bigotted, Racist or whatever, you wouldn't like them would you? Unless of course you are, that's your choice.
What am I rambling on about? Well I'm saying, I judge people by the way they act once I've met them, I allow for differences in opinion, I don't like everyone I've ever met and I understand that some people don't share my sense of humour and aren't as vocal as I can be. I try to be helpful but I do expect people to help themselves as well and I find people that are different to the White Norm interesting not frightening, I think that's a key thing, but at the same time, trust is earnt, I'm not daft.
Hope that's made sense. My biggest failing probably is that being ex forces, I will tend to want to make a joke about something, or take the mickey, like we used to do to each other in the RAF. Nowadays I have to try and curb myself and be a bit more sensitive to peoples feelings. I do think though that if you're "different" you need to grow a bit of a skin otherwise you'll let everything get to you, including comments from [censored] who are Oxygen Thieves.
Cor blimey, rant over