Author Topic: Uncooperative walking companion  (Read 1346 times)

Nomad32

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Uncooperative walking companion
« on: 12:22:06, 05/07/18 »
I went for a stomp over the roaches in the peaks last weekend and came back more angry and frustrated than I was when I went away. Guy I was walking with kept making decisions on which way to go even tho I had the map and knew where we needed to be. He annoyed me that much I nearly left him in the field. You can't do that to a mate but he shot himself in the foot because I won't be taking him again.

fit old bird

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Re: Uncooperative walking companion
« Reply #1 on: 12:42:06, 05/07/18 »
He might have been pleased and flattered that you asked him to go with you, and wanted to be helpful. Maybe he likes to feel he is being useful. He might be more used to giving orders, than taking them, does he have responsibility in his job. Did you discuss who would be leading before you started out.


Don't get annoyed with the foibles of others, everyone is different. Maybe just have a drink in a pub with him from now on, talk football or whatever subject you are both interested in. Maybe walk alone, no one to get annoyed with except yourself. Calm down, and breath.  :-*


ilona

Nomad32

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Re: Uncooperative walking companion
« Reply #2 on: 13:54:55, 05/07/18 »
He might have been pleased and flattered that you asked him to go with you, and wanted to be helpful. Maybe he likes to feel he is being useful. He might be more used to giving orders, than taking them, does he have responsibility in his job. Did you discuss who would be leading before you started out.



Don't get annoyed with the foibles of others, everyone is different. Maybe just have a drink in a pub with him from now on, talk football or whatever subject you are both interested in. Maybe walk alone, no one to get annoyed with except yourself. Calm down, and breath.  :-*



He has done lots of walking.
He thought he knew better than me.
It's the first walk we have done together.
I had been tracking our progress and found a rout which would take us past a pub and had good potential for a wild camp spot but he wanted to walk back towards the van. Baring in mind we still had a good 5 hours of walking left on the Saturday and on the sunday I had it planned we would do a last hoorah on a tor then be back at the van for 3pm but no we walked back to the first camp spot and it just frustrated me.

jimbob

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Re: Uncooperative walking companion
« Reply #3 on: 14:17:44, 05/07/18 »
Ah even more reinforcement as to why I prefer and actually enjoy walking on my own.
I don't mind walking a few miles with a fellow walker who happens to be going on the same walk, but sooner or later I make my excuses sit down to take a break and let them wander on. I'm not unsociable, I just miss too much of the view talking to others. I certainly wouldn't go on a long walk starting off on a planned day with others, except for the local ramblers club which to me is a different type of mindset.
Too little, too late, too bad......

richardh1905

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Re: Uncooperative walking companion
« Reply #4 on: 14:26:45, 05/07/18 »

I've certainly done most of my hard walking on my own, but there have been exceptions, and if you find a like minded companion, sharing the experience can add to the pleasure - especially if a pub is involved!


Finding a like minded companion is the key!

fit old bird

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Re: Uncooperative walking companion
« Reply #5 on: 15:01:46, 05/07/18 »
So, not enough discussion before the walk started then. Did you sit down with a map together, go over the route? Did you make it clear from the beginning that you had already worked out the route and he was welcome to come along? Maybe two people who have similar levels of walking experience is a bit too competitive, one will have to give way to the other. Better luck next time.


ilona

Nomad32

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Re: Uncooperative walking companion
« Reply #6 on: 16:08:59, 05/07/18 »
So, not enough discussion before the walk started then. Did you sit down with a map together, go over the route? Did you make it clear from the beginning that you had already worked out the route and he was welcome to come along? Maybe two people who have similar levels of walking experience is a bit too competitive, one will have to give way to the other. Better luck next time.


ilona
We planned the route together and even discussed our options on route but he just kept changing the plan. Next time I'm going alone. I only took him along for my lady's sake so she didn't worry too much. It's probably true that two competent walkers with their own ideas can't do a walk together. We just bickered the whole time.

gunwharfman

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Re: Uncooperative walking companion
« Reply #7 on: 18:18:28, 05/07/18 »
One of the reasons why I prefer to hike alone. Plus, it can be annoying when one walks faster or slower than the other, or when one gets up early and the other gets up late. When one doesn't have breakfast first thing and the other won't move without a 'full English'. I find it better to meet people en route, walk with them a while maybe, then be alone again.

Nomad32

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Re: Uncooperative walking companion
« Reply #8 on: 18:22:20, 05/07/18 »
True enough. I'm going round the trespassers route to kinder scout next weekend on my own. Can't wait. 😁

sussamb

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Re: Uncooperative walking companion
« Reply #9 on: 18:26:07, 05/07/18 »
That's troubling as I've just agreed that a friend can join me when I do the C2C next June.  Normally walk on my own so this will be a first for me, my advantage that even though he's a walker I'm in charge of the route,  navigation, booking accommodation etc.
Where there's a will ...

Slogger

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Re: Uncooperative walking companion
« Reply #10 on: 20:04:24, 05/07/18 »
I had a problem with several years ago with a guy whom I had doine many day walks with, even a few weekends.
Walked Offa's Dyke over 11 days. Fine at first until we were accompanied by another guy and his dog. The talk almost all day and in the pub in the evening was dog orriented. That accompanied by the fact that he was annoyed if the b&b only had a shower instead of a bath, preffered the double bed if there was one, and many lore annoying little attitudes.
Next walk (he had to give his wife at least 2 years notice) was WHW, can't be as bad as last time I thought. Wrong, he was really wierd. At one point when he'd delayed us chatting to another couple far too long and it being obvious they wanted to be on their own, but he oblivious to this, I carried on, on my own for a couple of mile. When he caught he announced that he din't need to talk to me during the day when there were other as  he could talk to me anytime! With that i was going to part compant with him but the opportunity never really arrived. I did walk the last section to include Ben Nevis on my own (he thought that idea was ludicrous) and have to say that was by far the most relaxing and best day of the entire route!
We haven't walked together since.

Dovegirl

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Re: Uncooperative walking companion
« Reply #11 on: 20:43:37, 05/07/18 »
I've enjoyed the few occasions when I've walked with one or two others but I think it's more about enjoying their company than about the walk itself.  I don't mind falling in with their plans but I love the freedom of solo walking and I'd feel restricted if I usually walked with others.

Hillhiker1

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Re: Uncooperative walking companion
« Reply #12 on: 20:57:36, 05/07/18 »

I generally prefer to walk alone, but occasionally a mate may tag along, but I'm very selective as to which particular mates.
Usually their attitude is that they're tagging along on 'my' route. I'll outline the route to them and if they still want to come, they can. If they want to divert from the route they can. I may or may not divert with them.


However there's one particular mate I just can't walk with as we have totally different 'wants' from the day. For example he wants to rush round and be in the pub by lunchtime, whereas I want to take all day and might do a bit of caching or photography on the way round. We're still great mates but we don't walk together.


These days though my eldest cherub comes with me, and she's just about ideal. I like her company, she'll go wherever I say without complaint, and she's usually about 200 yards behind me so it's like walking alone anyway!! ;D ;D ;D

Ronin83

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Re: Uncooperative walking companion
« Reply #13 on: 21:43:36, 05/07/18 »
I think sometimes the fear of saying something is worse than just saying it. If someone is annoying you, tell them there and then. It will come out a lot better than if you let it build up.


Personally I walk with the missus and/or friends. We usually kind of take turns planning a route. This is one day routes normally tho.
It's strange, I like to do a lot of things by myself and prefer sports which are you fighting yourself, but with walking I like it with others. Its really about doing it together rather than competing.

Nomad32

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Re: Uncooperative walking companion
« Reply #14 on: 21:48:13, 05/07/18 »
I take my lady with me most of the time but she has hurt her ankle so can't come for a while. I took him because he is a mate and usually we get on fine. He annoyed me and we bickered the whole way. I have never went on my own before so am planning kinder scout next weekend on my lonesome. The way I saw it it was safety in numbers. Say one of us slipped an injured ourselves and didn't have phone battery/signal. One could take a map ref and hike out to the nearest settlement.