Author Topic: I don't think I'm right for this.  (Read 1341 times)

The Wondering Wanderer

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I don't think I'm right for this.
« on: 20:01:53, 01/09/19 »
I'm in chamonix at the moment, meant to be starting my TMB today.


The first day all went wrong and, as it turns out, if it had gone right and I'd reached Les Houches, the campsite I was planning to stay at is no longer open.


But more important than all that is that I can't take the loneliness of solo camping.


Solo day hiking is fine. I'm occupied. I don't even think about it. But the evenings. I feel so lonely and depressed. I've got no appetite. I don't want to do anything. I just want to go home. I've rescheduled my flights and transfers but still cant get home for another 2 days and that thought is killing me.


I know this a forum for people who enjoy it and I thought I fit. I love the idea of doing it. But just can't hack the loneliness.
I guess I'll just be a day hiker unless I can convince any of my friends to join me for a multiday.


Has this happened to anyone else?
Does this make me as pathetic as I feel. This is my 2nd failed multiday hike. The 1st was the ridgeway.
I'm wondering about wandering and wonder where I might wander if I wander while I wonder.

bricam2096

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Re: I don't think I'm right for this.
« Reply #1 on: 20:16:09, 01/09/19 »
I walk alone, I donít usually camp and often stay in youth hostels, you donít feel as lonely there.

On my TMB there were solo campers but they spent the evenings in the refugeís eating, drinking and chatting before heading back to their tents. I know itís not exactly wild camping but itís at least a way to have company.

Iím off to Italy next weekend to walk the Alta Via 1 on my own, staying at rifugios where Iíll hopefully find someone speaking English.

Sometimes itís worth paying the extra for a bit of company in the evening.
LDWs done - 32 in total including 16 National Trails and 3 C2C

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Bigfoot_Mike

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Re: I don't think I'm right for this.
« Reply #2 on: 20:28:23, 01/09/19 »
There is nothing wrong with being a day hiker. There are many of us on here. Multi day hikes and solo camping are very different for most people to Ďnormalí life. It could be that you are not suited to this, or it might be that you need some time to adjust. Sometimes I wonder why I have bothered starting out on a hike, but after a while I find that the pressures and stresses of the norm have started to lift and I relax. Nowadays, I donít camp and keep to single day walks when I am not injured (14 months out  and counting).


Things going wrong at the outset can be particularly troubling, but these things pass. Some people need others around - I am generally happy with my own company, but am happy to meet up with others, as long as there are not too many.


Perhaps you could try something closer to home on familiar territory. A 2 day expedition with 1 night of camping hit be a way of easing into it.

Bigfoot_Mike

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Re: I don't think I'm right for this.
« Reply #3 on: 20:30:01, 01/09/19 »

Sometimes itís worth paying the extra for a bit of company in the evening.
Is that legal?  ;D

ninthace

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Re: I don't think I'm right for this.
« Reply #4 on: 20:30:21, 01/09/19 »
Most French camp sites close by the end of August  Hotels often close too. One September I visited Rocamadour, which is second only to the Mont St Michel as a tourist site. There were only 2 hotels open and ours closed the day we left.
I have never had any dealings with the Refuges in that area but the ones in the Pyrenees closed quite early in the Autumn.  Did you check the Refuges on the TMB would still be open? 
Solvitur Ambulando

tom83

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Re: I don't think I'm right for this.
« Reply #5 on: 20:38:06, 01/09/19 »
There's no shame in admitting that you are not enjoying yourself. Everyone has different experiences in different circumstances.


Personally, like yourself, I love a solo day hike, it clears my head whilst keeping me occupied, and also like you I struggle in my own company once there is nothing left to do. I have camped with my boy, but never on my own.


I worked in an industrial yard for a few years, and the guy I worked with retired and was never replaced, 9 months later I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, all because of being left in my own company with nothing to do or anyone to speak to.


As I said there is no shame admitting that something doesn't suit you, you have recognised you have an issue with your circumstances, and made efforts to rectify it. As for the next 2 days, just try and fill them as best you can. Become a tourist, and keep yourself occupied. There's a cinema in Chamonix, although it will be in French, a film will pass a few hours on an evening.


Hope you have a safe journey home.

richardh1905

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Re: I don't think I'm right for this.
« Reply #6 on: 21:02:13, 01/09/19 »
Sorry to hear that, Wanderer. I guess we are different in that respect, but you did the right thing in bailing out if solitude was making you feel depressed.

Mel

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Re: I don't think I'm right for this.
« Reply #7 on: 21:26:16, 01/09/19 »
I think gunwharfman feels the same way (seem to remember him saying he actively seeks out company in pubs at the end of the day's walk because he's bored / lonely otherwise).


Sometimes itís worth paying the extra for a bit of company in the evening.

Is that legal?  ;D


 :D   ;D 





No expense spared in pursuit of a bargain ;)
https://snailspacewalks.blogspot.co.uk/

Zizag

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Re: I don't think I'm right for this.
« Reply #8 on: 21:27:56, 01/09/19 »
Very sorry to hear your trip failed .
But at least you had the courage to own up and explain your Dilemma .
All Is Not Lost .
All the Good advice on on the Forum will get you back into your stride .
Bigfoot Mike suggestion of a 2 Day Hike and a night camping could help . Local area's and familiarity will make you feel better .
A lot of us have similar feelings ,but all deal with It In our own way .
Best Wishs . ;) O0

tonyk

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Re: I don't think I'm right for this.
« Reply #9 on: 21:41:28, 01/09/19 »



Has this happened to anyone else?
Does this make me as pathetic as I feel. This is my 2nd failed multiday hike. The 1st was the ridgeway.
Do you live with someone else or on your own? If you are living with a partner or family it will always be difficult when you are suddenly alone.

Ronin83

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Re: I don't think I'm right for this.
« Reply #10 on: 21:54:10, 01/09/19 »
You could find a group or book a trip with other people. I mean sounds like I've never solo camped and it doesn't sound great to be honest.
You'd be surprised how many people enjoy walking. Ask your friends

Rob Goes Walking

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Re: I don't think I'm right for this.
« Reply #11 on: 07:23:51, 02/09/19 »
Plenty of people who only day hike on here. I don't camp as I have routines I'm somewhat uncomfortable with breaking now and don't have the equipment but the forum puts up with me, talks to me and answers my foolish questions  ;D

You're not pathetic you're just a person who likes the company of others, nothing wrong with that. We all have our own wants, needs and desires.

Pity you're not in the Lakes doing a shorter walk and I don't have equipment or I'd come join you for a night or two! Have been actively seeking the company of others lately, especially those interested in walking. Been far too long since I had friends, and I used to be popular!

As well as doing the shorter solo camps,
if you don't know anyone else who wants to do the long hikes with you there must be a place you can advertise for someone to join you, there's busy hiking groups on Facebook perhaps on there? You might not feel at ease doing it with a stranger but your friends were all strangers once.

Make the most of France while you're there and be nice to yourself.

vghikers

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Re: I don't think I'm right for this.
« Reply #12 on: 08:41:24, 02/09/19 »
Quote
...I love the idea of doing it. But just can't hack the loneliness.
I guess I'll just be a day hiker unless I can convince any of my friends to join me for a multiday.
Has this happened to anyone else?...

Extraordinary!. I think I've finally met my polar opposite  :)

Everyone is different, some just don't have the mindset for a pure wilderness experience. As can readily be seen from my backpacks, I have an innate desire - and expertise from years of experience - to avoid other people like the plague. The ideal trip for me is to walk and camp for days without catching sight of a soul, even from a distance.

Quote
...I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, all because of being left in my own company with nothing to do or anyone to speak to...

Even weirder, that's two in one thread  :) I'd be depressed with people constantly hovering around.

I remember that old anecdote about the wise old sage who, when asked about the essential difference between the Japanese and westerners, said: "the westerner can never be content to just sit alone in an empty room".

I can relate to that, I'd be fine with it.


The Wondering Wanderer

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Re: I don't think I'm right for this.
« Reply #13 on: 08:59:18, 02/09/19 »
Thanks all for the replies.


Some good suggestions to try out and if they don't work out then I'll just stick to day hikes.
It's a shame because I'd love to go on these long adventures and see these amazing places. I just need to find someone to do it with.
I'm wondering about wandering and wonder where I might wander if I wander while I wonder.

Islandplodder

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Re: I don't think I'm right for this.
« Reply #14 on: 10:35:56, 02/09/19 »

I do lots of multi-day walks, but never camp because I am too much of a weak wimp to carry all the gear.  You can still stay in amazing places, and I find that if you walk alone it is much easier to get into conversation with people, whether along the route (if it isn't too remote) or in hostels, hotels or whatever in the evenings.
Long distance walks and wild camping are two different things.  Don't feel that because you don't enjoy one you can't do the other.